Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
