Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize