he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
