We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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