i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
