its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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