i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
