Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
