please come you make the beer taste better
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
