There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
