is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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