Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
