I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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