By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
