She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
