so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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