No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
