I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
