just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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