I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
