Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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