her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
