Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
