Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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