WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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