I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
