after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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