My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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