Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
