I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
