Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
