she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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