It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
