And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
