Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
