I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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