batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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