Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
