you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
