some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
