We're like a lot better than the average bears
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
