Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
