Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
