I think i peed on brittanys purse
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
