Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can't turn off my feet"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
