plz talk dirty to me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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