I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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