there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
