Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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