Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
