Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
