Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
