I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
